Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.
  • All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.
  • Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.
  • My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.
  • I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?
  • Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.