Commentary:
When it's 3 a.m., and you're having a stress summit with a surprise guest speaker: the super bug from Planet WTF! 🐛😱🌌
215 Funny surprise quotes
Gym progress is weird. You look the same every day… until one random Tuesday.
Commentary:
When you finally see those muscles pop on a random Tuesday, it's like your body's surprise party that no one RSVP’d to 💪🎉😂
It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like, holy shit, should we do something?
Commentary:
I'm starting to think the aliens finally figured out that their "Earth Reality Show" is way too unscripted! 👽😂
That moment when I Google footballers who look 35, and they’re 21.
Commentary:
When life cheats you out of a decade and your age is suddenly the best kept secret in sports 😂⚽️🔍
Amazon will tell you your package is coming in 7 days, then deliver it the next day. These are the only kind of lies I need in my life.
Commentary:
When getting ghosted leads to surprise gifts in the mail 😂📦
Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?
Commentary:
"Of course not, Dre just forgot to text me back! 🎤🕶️😂"
“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”
Commentary:
Looks like we're in for a night of plot twists and identity bingo! 🎉😜🔀
I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.
Commentary:
Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅
I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”
Commentary:
When you're practically a historian on wheels! 🕵️♂️🚴♂️📜
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.
Commentary:
Why invite anyone else when you can surprise yourself multiple times a day? 🎉🤔🙃