Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.
  • Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.
  • How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?
  • I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.
  • Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.
  • A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.