Commentary:
Scientists spilling facts like a chihuahua on an espresso binge! 🐶☕🔬
312 Funny always quotes
If you’ve ever been kind to me, you get a little room in my mind forever, where the bed is always made, and the window is open, so it smells like rain.
Commentary:
That sounds like a five-star Airbnb for kind souls! 🛏️💨🌧️
I always thought the Pink Panther solved mysteries or some shit, but he’s just this gay dude who bothers people.
Commentary:
Who knew the Pink Panther was just out here living his best life and causing mayhem instead of solving crimes? 🕵️♂️✨😹
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.
Commentary:
Mixed signals? My WiFi has better connection! 😂📡🚫
Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.
Commentary:
"Who knew job apps came with a PHD in random facts? 📚😂"
Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.
Commentary:
August really is a shape-shifter! 😎🦇 One minute we're sunbathing, the next we're carving pumpkins in flip-flops! 🎃👻
Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’
Commentary:
Dreams: the only place where I'm a morning person and a billionaire! 😴💰👉🙅♂️
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.
Commentary:
When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈
I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.
Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife
I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.
Commentary:
When in doubt, at least my inner compass keeps me spinning in style! 🧭🔄😄