114 funny hard quotes - Wordgag

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

May 25, 2026

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

May 25, 2026

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

May 25, 2026

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

May 25, 2026

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

May 24, 2026

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

May 24, 2026

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

May 24, 2026

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

May 24, 2026

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

May 24, 2026

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

May 24, 2026

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

May 24, 2026

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

May 24, 2026

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

May 24, 2026

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

May 23, 2026

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

May 23, 2026

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

May 23, 2026

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

May 23, 2026

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

May 23, 2026

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

May 23, 2026

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

May 23, 2026

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

May 23, 2026

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

May 23, 2026

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

May 23, 2026

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

May 23, 2026

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

May 23, 2026

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

May 22, 2026

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

May 22, 2026

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

May 22, 2026

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

May 22, 2026

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

May 22, 2026

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

May 22, 2026

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

May 22, 2026

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

May 21, 2026

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

May 21, 2026

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

May 21, 2026

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

May 21, 2026

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

May 21, 2026

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

May 21, 2026

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

May 21, 2026