Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.
  • I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.
  • Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?
  • Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.
  • Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.
  • She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.