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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

3 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Trending via WeChat:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Just landed via Slack:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Freshly posted on X:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Going viral on Facebook:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Trending via Snapchat:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Shared recently on Slack:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Home » Funny Help Quotes

62 Funny help quotes

Funny help quotes 😄 are the perfect pick-me-up for when you’re feeling overwhelmed or just need a good laugh 😂. These witty one-liners and humorous insights can turn a stressful day into a giggle fest 🤣. Whether you’re seeking relief from a hectic workload or just want to share a chuckle with friends, these quotes have got you covered 💪. Dive into the lighter side of life and let the laughter flow! 🌟

New funny help quotes 👇

22 hours ago
Share →: Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Commentary:
When mom goes full CIA on dust particles and socks, yet we're all suspects 🕵️‍♀️🧹🧦🔍
1 week ago
Share →: Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️
1 week ago
Share →: If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Commentary:
When your math skills are as useful as a chocolate teapot 🤔📚🍫
1 week ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Commentary:
Finally, a perk of aging! Turning 40 just upgraded my excuse game to expert level! 🎉🛋️🚫
2 weeks ago
Share →: My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Commentary:
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who needs a week to recover from it all? 🙈😂 #VitaminsCanOnlyDoSoMuch"
2 weeks ago
Share →: My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Commentary:
"When your phone charger is practicing social distancing 😂📱🔌 #Stranded"
1 month ago
Share →: At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's taking 'dolling up' to a whole new level! 😂🩺🎀 #DollDrama"
2 months ago
Share →: At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Commentary:
"Current situation: involuntarily becoming one with my thoughts 🧘‍♂️🤯 Can someone please ship an emergency playlist to the gym? 🎧😂"
2 months ago
Share →: If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you're thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

For even more funny help quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny help quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

3 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Trending via Pinterest:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Just shared via Threads:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Just shared via WeChat:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Trending via Discord:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Just shared via Instagram:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Just shared via Threads:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

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