Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just find the off switch for Earth 🌍… Oops, I accidentally turned off the sun instead! Looks like we're in for an extended night 🌙. Hope you packed your pajamas and a flashlight! 😅 #AlexaFail"

Alexa, environmentalism, humor, planet, sarcasm, technology, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

0

2 months ago

90s, call, common, common sense, etiquette, horror, horror movy, humor, modern, modern technology, movy, number, numbers, phone, phone call, phone etiquette, phones, scream, sense, technology, unknown, unknown number
Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, consequence, enemy, fine, gamble, humor, irony, just, miss, risk, spear, strategy, throwing, weapon
I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

0

4 months ago

acceptance, age, argument, arguments, even, fun, humor, i, life, math, patience, right, say, stage, stay, where
When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

0

2 months ago

calm, calm down, care, dental, dental care, electric, electric toothbrush, freak, humor, just, regular, remember, toothbrush, training
Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

0

2 months ago

babymaking, benny, Benny Hill, hill, humor, music, playful, song, theme, theme song
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

0

2 months ago

able, aisle, aisles, around, call, confusion, cops, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, moves, navigation, police, shopping, should, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Your opinions are not my business.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Trending via Slack:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Live now on Slack:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨