Alexa, turn off the planet.

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Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

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I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

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Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

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Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

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Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

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Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

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My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

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No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

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The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

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Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.