All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

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Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

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I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

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Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

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Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

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I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

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You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

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The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

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Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

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Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

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Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.