Commentary:
Trying to shop my way to happiness: Step 1, find the right thing; Step 2, hope it's not just more socks 🧦😂🛍️
131 Funny away quotes
You take a week or two away from working out, and your body acts like it’s never done a run or lifted a weight before.
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My muscles are like, "Exercise? I don't know her!" 🏋️♂️🤷♂️😂
The older I get, the more I understand why cats just walk away mid-conversation.
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Cats are basically the masters of 'Irish exit' and I think I just unlocked level feline in my social skills! 🐈⬛😂👋
I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.
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Looks like a career shift to "Squirrel Whisperer" is on the horizon! 🐿️🌲📱
It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.
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Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.
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That moment when kids become the ultimate superhero sidekicks to ward off unwanted attention 😂🦸♀️👶
I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.
Commentary:
Why do we keep those boxes? Are we secretly hoping to use them as tiny condos for our chargers? 📦📱😂
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.
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Mastering the art of the ninja exit, leaving drama and noise in the dust 🥷🚪💨
Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?
Commentary:
Achieving this mythical level of productivity deserves its own superhero comic series 🦸♀️🦸♂️🧺✨
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.
Commentary:
🤔😆 Navigating this is like handling a live grenade that needs a hug! 💥👐