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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Shared recently on Reddit:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Seen just now on X:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Going viral on Instagram:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Spotted on YouTube:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Trending via Instagram:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Making waves on Messenger:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

0
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Anyone who thinks they can see through women probably needs to get their glasses checked 👓🚫🔍. Because let's face it, ladies are like a fabulous mystery wrapped in enigma with a sprinkle of 'try me' attitude 💁‍♀️🔮. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded – good luck with that 😂🧩!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Threads this month:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,243

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Trending via Twitch:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Spotted on WeChat:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on WeChat:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

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