1532 funny relationship quotes - Wordgag

Drake makes music for people that sigh until you ask them what’s wrong.

Jun 2, 2026Jun 2, 2026

Asking my girlfriend if I can go outside to play in the yard.

May 31, 2026May 31, 2026

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

May 30, 2026

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

May 30, 2026

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

May 30, 2026

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

May 30, 2026

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

May 30, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

May 30, 2026

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

May 30, 2026

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

May 30, 2026

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

May 30, 2026

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

May 30, 2026

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

May 30, 2026

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

May 30, 2026

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

May 30, 2026

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

May 30, 2026

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

May 30, 2026

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

May 30, 2026

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

May 30, 2026

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

May 30, 2026

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

May 30, 2026

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

May 30, 2026

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

May 30, 2026

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

May 30, 2026

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

May 30, 2026

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

May 30, 2026

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

May 30, 2026

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

May 30, 2026

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

May 30, 2026

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

May 30, 2026

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

May 30, 2026

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

May 30, 2026

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

May 30, 2026

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

May 30, 2026

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

May 30, 2026

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

May 30, 2026

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

May 30, 2026

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

May 30, 2026

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

May 30, 2026

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

May 30, 2026