Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

87 shares on Reddit this month:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.