50 funny answer quotes - Wordgag

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

May 19, 2026

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

May 19, 2026

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

May 19, 2026

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

May 19, 2026

Onion rings? I’m answering.

May 19, 2026

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

May 19, 2026

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

May 19, 2026

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

May 19, 2026

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

May 19, 2026

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

May 19, 2026

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

May 18, 2026

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Apr 1, 2026

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Apr 1, 2026

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Apr 1, 2026

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Apr 1, 2026

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Mar 31, 2026

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Mar 31, 2026

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Mar 31, 2026

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Mar 31, 2026

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Mar 30, 2026

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Mar 30, 2026

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Mar 30, 2026

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Mar 30, 2026

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Mar 30, 2026

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Mar 29, 2026

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Mar 27, 2026

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Mar 27, 2026

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Mar 27, 2026

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Mar 27, 2026

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Mar 27, 2026

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Mar 26, 2026

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Mar 26, 2026

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Mar 26, 2026

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Mar 26, 2026

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Mar 26, 2026

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Mar 26, 2026

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Mar 26, 2026

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Mar 26, 2026