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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Making art is making love to the world.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Just shared via Messenger:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Just landed via Reddit:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Making waves on Facebook:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Going bananas on X:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Live now on Threads:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Trending via Slack:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Just landed via Facebook:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

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Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.
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Commentary:
"Remember, sometimes the M in 'masses' is silent…and so are the original ideas! 😉 Don't be afraid to break away from the crowd and forge your own path, even if it means standing out with that silent M! 🤫 #Beyourself #Uniqueandproud"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Trending via TikTok:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Spotted on Twitch:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Live now on Snapchat:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

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