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29 Funny follow quotes

Trending Funny Follow Quotes 🔥

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.
Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.
How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.
Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.
I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

New funny follow quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Commentary:
"Finally, a math equation I can get behind: fewer friends = more cake! 🎂🍰😋 #CakeEconomics"
3 months ago
Share →: When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Commentary:
"Who knew that your backyard burial could also double as a botanical sanctuary? Remember, nothing protects your secrets quite like an endangered species—just don't forget to water the evidence! Stay tuned for more quirky gardening advice and unconventional life hacks!"
3 months ago
Share →: If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive art of eavesdropping thwarted by considerate neighbors. How dare they deprive us of our daily dose of neighborhood drama! It's a real tragedy, really. Perhaps it's time to invest in a good pair of binoculars and a spy kit for optimal snooping efficiency."
4 months ago
Share →: Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Commentary:
"Guess cats are just looking for some purr-worthy movie recommendations! 🐱🍿 Who knew they were so 'particular' about their film choices… 😹📽️"
4 months ago
Share →: I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Commentary:
"Oh, the betrayal of diets! They promise so much, but when it comes to giving back, they ghost you like a bad date. Unfollowing seems like the only reasonable response – who needs that kind of one-sided relationship anyway?"
4 months ago
Share →: If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern approach to romance – block first, ask questions later! Who needs love letters when you can have a solid block list instead? Follow for more tips on how to keep your heart safe and your social media drama-free!"
4 months ago
Share →: About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover
5 months ago
Share →: Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'being on a diet isn't so bad if you don't follow it' clearly knows the secret to a guilt-free snack attack 🍪🥗 Pro tip: Just call it 'diet-adjacent' and you're good to go! 😄 #DietingDilemmas"
5 months ago
Share →: I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Commentary:
🐶 "Why do dogs always want to accompany us to the bathroom? Well, maybe it's just their way of returning the favor for all those outdoor potty breaks we give them! It's a 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours… or sniff yours' kinda deal!" 🚽🤣
5 months ago
Share →: At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Commentary:
Looks like an impromptu grocery shopping adventure with a side of unexpected bonding 🛒😄 Who knew forgetting your wife's list could lead to a new shopping buddy! #ShoppingGoals