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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Just shared via Slack:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Just landed via TikTok:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Trending via Reddit:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Making waves on WeChat:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Making waves on WeChat:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Breaking via Twitch:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

2 months ago

0

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Uh-oh, boredom alert! 🚨 Things are about to go from zero to chaotic real quick! 🤪💥 Brace yourselves, folks! 😂"

bored, danger, dangerous, excitement, fun, humor, mischief, warned, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

0

2 months ago

decision, employment, existing, extra, hiring, humor, job, management, office, paying, role, salary, staff, staffing, workplace
I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

0

2 months ago

getting, humor, i, life, motivation, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, stress, together
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim
I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, leisure, observation, outdoor, outdoors, outside, put, scenery, stuff, walk
I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

0

2 months ago

authority, being, fit, good, home, humor, job, job market, market, nonconformity, personal, personal values, sarcasm, self-righteousness, strengths, traditional, values, workplace
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

0

2 months ago

advice, experience, humor, learn, life, live, mistake, mistakes, never, wisdom, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

75 shares on Slack this month:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

99 shares on X this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

28 shares on Slack this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

70 shares on Discord this month:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Trending via TikTok:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just landed via Twitch:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Just shared via Twitch:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Shared recently on Threads:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Just landed via Facebook:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Just landed via Messenger:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴