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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Spotted on Slack:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Trending via Pinterest:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Just landed via YouTube:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Trending via Messenger:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Broadcasted on X:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Spotted on Slack:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

2 months ago

0

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, so sorry to hear that the sun can no longer offer emotional assistance. Guess it's time to seek comfort in the glow of the moon 🌙 and the embrace of some cozy evening starlight ✨. Don't worry, even the sun needs a break sometimes! ☀️😂"

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

0

2 months ago

burning, cd, day, even, last, last time, memory, nostalgia, outdated, realization, realize, technology, time
This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

0

5 months ago

bisexual, confusing, confusion, every, frequency, humor, once, relationship, sexual, term, twice, week
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

0

5 months ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

3 weeks ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

0

2 months ago

actually, argument, arguments, around, conversation, dialogue, full, funny thought, having, head, i, inner, inner dialogue, mad, me, mood, said, someone, something, thought, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

78 shares on Discord this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

71 shares on X this month:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m here by unpopular demand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Just shared via X:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Making waves on TikTok:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Going viral on Discord:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

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