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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Breaking via WeChat:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Shared recently on Threads:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Shared recently on Threads:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Freshly posted on X:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Making waves on WeChat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

2 months ago

0

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, so sorry to hear that the sun can no longer offer emotional assistance. Guess it's time to seek comfort in the glow of the moon 🌙 and the embrace of some cozy evening starlight ✨. Don't worry, even the sun needs a break sometimes! ☀️😂"

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

0

2 months ago

child, choice, dilemma, evening, fun, help, homework, math, nice, parenting
People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, event, gatherings, humor, i, introvert, invitation, isolation, keep, me, miss, pandemic, people, social, social anxiety, social event, stuff
Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

0

2 months ago

actual, appearance, character, fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, grandma, hood, humor, little, little red riding hood, red, riding, storytelling, tale, talk
I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

0

2 months ago

3, activity, bald, bald guy, band, cover, cover band, funny name, guy, guys, hairless, Hairless Whisper, humor, music, name, pun, Wham, whisper
My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

0

3 months ago

30, body, confusion, doing, exhaustion, humor, i, know, pretending, self-deprecation, tired, water
Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

0

4 months ago

air, air fryer, brew, bro, Caesar, caesar salad, cold, cold brew, food, food trend, found, fryer, healthy, healthy food, high protein, i, Instagram, media, oats, overnight, overnight oats, recipe, salad, social, social media, trend, trendy, trendy food, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am single, please disturb me!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Spotted on TikTok:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

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