Funny absolutely quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

  Commentary:
  "Admitting mistakes is for amateurs! I'm only professionally flawless 😜🦄✨ #PerfectlyImperfect"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

  Commentary:
  "Guess your comforter never stood a chance! #CuddleKing/Queen 🛏️🐻💥"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

  Commentary:
  "Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃‍♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

  Commentary:
  "When the hormones join the drama club, nobody's safe! 🎭😅🚨"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

  Commentary:
  When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

  Commentary:
  🌻 "Looks like someone took 'stop and smell the flowers' a bit too literally! Sunflowers may be bright and beautiful, but they're not a replacement for a date, buddy. The only thing you should be picking in that field is pollen, not phone numbers! 😂 #SunflowerStalker" 🌻

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? 😂 It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. 🧦☁️ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!👶🗣️

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a loop when you can dance in circles of your own making? 💃🕺 Exit the loop like a boss and create your own funky groove! 🌀😎 #OutOfTheLoopAndLovingIt"

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