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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Going viral on Messenger:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just landed via WeChat:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Just shared via Telegram:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Going viral on WeChat:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Breaking via YouTube:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Home » Funny Absolutely Quotes

14 Funny absolutely quotes

Funny absolutely quotes bring a burst of laughter and pure joy to your day! 😂✨ Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever twist on everyday moments, these gems are absolutely hilarious and totally relatable. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort with delight as you dive into a world where humor meets absolute truth! 🎉🤣 #LaughOutLoud #FunnyAbsolutely

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For even more funny absolutely quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny absolutely quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Freshly posted on X:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Making waves on Telegram:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Reported on YouTube:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Just landed via Telegram:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Seen just now on Threads:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

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