Commentary:
Finding my Zen through advanced couch potato techniques 🛋️🍕😂
47 Funny absolutely quotes
Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.
Commentary:
Looks like we've scheduled the meeting for the 12th of Never-uary! 📅😂
I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.
Commentary:
Unstoppable force meets immovable drizzle 😂☔️
I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.
Commentary:
That feeling when your sleep schedule thinks it's immune to logic 🤪🛌💤
I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.
Commentary:
When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.
Commentary:
When you've been looking through rose-colored glasses your whole life but suddenly realize they were actually fogged up lenses 😂😅 #LifeLessons #MomSkills 👀🍸
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make sure they're free-range, non-GMO, ethically sourced friendship lemons. 🍋😂
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”
Commentary:
Life goals: transforming into furniture while minimizing social interactions. 🛋️😂 #SoLazyItsEpic
The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.
Commentary:
ChatGPT out here boosting ego and starting revolutions, one bad idea at a time! 🤖🤦♂️😂
My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
When you realize being a walking encyclopedia was not in the parenting manual 😂📚🤔