772 funny fun quotes - Page 13 - Wordgag ツ

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Jan 23, 2026

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Jan 23, 2026

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Jan 23, 2026

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Jan 23, 2026

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Jan 23, 2026

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Jan 23, 2026

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Jan 23, 2026

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Jan 23, 2026

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Jan 23, 2026

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Jan 23, 2026

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Jan 23, 2026

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Jan 23, 2026

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Jan 23, 2026

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Jan 23, 2026

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Jan 23, 2026

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Jan 23, 2026

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Jan 23, 2026

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Jan 23, 2026

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Jan 23, 2026

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Jan 23, 2026

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Jan 23, 2026

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Jan 23, 2026

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Jan 23, 2026

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Jan 23, 2026

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Jan 23, 2026

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Jan 23, 2026

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Jan 22, 2026

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Jan 22, 2026

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Jan 22, 2026

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Jan 22, 2026

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Jan 22, 2026

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Jan 22, 2026

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Jan 22, 2026

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Jan 22, 2026

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Jan 22, 2026

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Jan 22, 2026

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Jan 22, 2026

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Jan 22, 2026

Drive like no one is watching.

Jan 22, 2026

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Jan 22, 2026