773 funny fun quotes - Page 14 - Wordgag

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

May 23, 2026

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

May 23, 2026

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

May 23, 2026

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

May 23, 2026

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

May 23, 2026

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

May 23, 2026

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

May 23, 2026

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

May 23, 2026

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

May 23, 2026

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

May 23, 2026

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

May 22, 2026

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

May 22, 2026

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

May 22, 2026

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

May 22, 2026

Drive like no one is watching.

May 22, 2026

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

May 22, 2026

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

May 22, 2026

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

May 22, 2026

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

May 22, 2026

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

May 22, 2026

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

May 22, 2026

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

May 22, 2026

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

May 22, 2026

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

May 22, 2026

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

May 22, 2026

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

May 22, 2026

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

May 22, 2026

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

May 22, 2026

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

May 22, 2026

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

May 22, 2026

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

May 22, 2026

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

May 22, 2026

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

May 22, 2026

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

May 22, 2026

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

May 22, 2026

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

May 22, 2026

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

May 22, 2026

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

May 22, 2026

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

May 22, 2026

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

May 22, 2026