167 Funny getting quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

  Commentary:
  "Getting out of bed ready to face the world, only to be greeted by… people. 🙄 It's like a plot twist in the worst movie ever! 😂 Who let them ruin our day like this? #IntrovertProblems"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the bittersweet irony of adulting! 🧺🧺 It's like winning a never-ending marathon, only to start another race right away. Laundry – the eternal task that keeps on giving! 🤣 #LifeIsAFullLoad

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said 'time flies when you're having fun' clearly never experienced a weekend! 🕰️💨 It's like the weekends are on a secret mission to make Monday morning arrive faster than a pizza delivery. 🍕😄 #WeekendWoes"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

  Commentary:
  🤣💉 "Cartoons really do have a way of glamorizing the most unusual things! Although getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork might look nonchalant on TV, I definitely wouldn't volunteer as tribute to test out that theory myself! 🍑🍴"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

  Commentary:
  "Online shopping: making us use our legs since 1994. Who knew that the most strenuous part of the process would be reaching for our wallet? It's a real workout for the modern age."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

  Commentary:
  Well, those bruises must have quite the active social life if they're not from getting lucky in love!

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the noble pursuit of thinking! 🤔💡 Tips on being smart? Well, remember – intelligence is like a garden: it requires regular watering… with coffee! ☕️😄 So keep those brain cells caffeinated and watch your brilliance bloom!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the simple joys of life summed up perfectly! 🍹🍹 Who needs profound existential questions when you can have two cocktails and a good meal?! 🍴😄 #LivingTheDream"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

  Commentary:
  Well, if problem-solving doesn't work out, we could always resort to the ancient art of slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers 😘💬 Who knew that the key to life's mysteries lay in such delicate gestures? 😉

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

  Commentary:
  "Appliances: Masters of timing and finance! 💸✨ They sense that sweet, sweet tax refund coming in and suddenly decide it's the perfect moment to break down or start making mysterious noises. Coincidence? I think not! 🤔🛠️ #appliancetactics"

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