Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Just shared via Instagram:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Going viral on Messenger:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Just landed via Discord:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Seen just now on Instagram:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

14 Funny match quotes

Funny match quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and lighthearted fun to any game day! Whether you’re cheering from the sidelines or scrolling through highlights 🏆, these witty sayings add spice 🌶️ to every play and scoreboard moment. Perfect for sharing with friends or boosting team spirit, funny match quotes turn the heat of competition into pure entertainment 🎉⚽️. Get ready to smile and score some laughs!

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For even more funny match quotes, hit next 👇

All funny match quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

92 shares on Discord this month:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

59 shares on Threads this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Live now on WeChat:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Just shared via WeChat:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

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