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84 Funny online quotes

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

3 months ago

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

3 months ago

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

3 months ago

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

3 months ago

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

3 months ago

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

3 months ago

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

3 months ago

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

3 months ago

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

3 months ago

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

3 months ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

3 months ago

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

3 months ago

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

3 months ago

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

3 months ago

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

3 months ago

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

3 months ago

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

3 months ago

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

3 months ago

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

3 months ago

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

3 months ago