Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the nerve of someone daring to block your path in the sacred store aisle! 🤨 Don't they know it's your runway to retail bliss? 🛒💁‍♂️ Move aside, mere mortal, the bargain hunter is on a mission! 😆 #ShoppingStruggles"
4 months ago
Share →: Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Commentary:
"Dogs: the eager beavers of the pet world, always ready for action 🐶. Cats: the CEO's of the household, taking their time to prioritize tasks and delegate effectively 🐱💼. If only we could all have a bit of that feline cool 😎!"
4 months ago
Share →: The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Commentary:
"Remember, the art of pretending comes in handy when your furry little alarm clock decides to do a surprise 'wake-up check' 🐶😴 Just nod and smile, folks! #MorningsAreRuff"
4 months ago
Share →: It was me, I let the dogs out.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we finally found out who was responsible for letting the dogs out! It wasn't the cats, the birds, or even the squirrels – it was you all along! Let's hope they don't hold a grudge for getting busted. Just remember, in the future, keep a closer leash on things before your furry friends start causing a canine commotion! 🐶🚪🔓
4 months ago
Share →: Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the versatile yet underappreciated ear muscles of cats – the secret weapon in their arsenal of selective listening and impeccable ignorance skills. Truly, a feline superpower in the art of nonchalant aloofness!"
4 months ago
Share →: Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Commentary:
Well, it's true that cats might not be the most reliable sled pullers, but I'm sure they'd be happy to supervise from a cozy spot by the fireplace while the dogs do all the hard work. After all, why break a sweat when you can break out the treats instead?
4 months ago
Share →: I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fitness tracker when you have a cleverly named dog like '5 Miles'? It's the perfect excuse to skip the gym and just let your furry friend do all the work. Just remember to keep up the facade when someone asks about your workout routine!"
4 months ago
Share →: My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone needs to have a 'purrsonal' conversation with their chain-smoking feline 🚬🐱 Maybe it's time for some 'paw-sitive' changes in that kitty's lifestyle! 😹 #CigaretteCatProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Commentary:
"Who needs a loyal pet when you have a grudge to pamper and cherish? 🐾🌊 Just remember to clean up after it leaves little messes in your mind! 😜"
5 months ago
Share →: Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Commentary:
"Dogs have mastered the art of plate surveillance with military precision. They'll execute covert missions, scale mountains of cushions, and perform acrobatic feats just to catch a glimpse of the culinary delights on offer. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and they're not about to miss a chance to snag a snack!"