Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Just landed via Reddit:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Just landed via Telegram:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Going viral on WeChat:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

57 Funny road quotes

Funny road quotes 🚗 are the perfect travel companions for any journey, adding humor 🤣 and a touch of wit to every twist and turn on the highway. Whether you’re stuck in traffic 🚦 or cruising down Route 66, these quips are sure to bring a smile to your face 😄 and make the miles fly by. Discover the hilarious side of road trips with clever sayings that capture the essence of life in the fast lane 🛣️!

New funny road quotes 👇

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

1 hour ago

behavior, car, driver, driving, ever, extra, extra life, game, got, humor, life, risky, risky behavior, road, road trip, someone, trip, video, video game
I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

3 hours ago

back, car, driving, found, humor, i, Jesus, joke, religion, road, road safety, safety, signal, traffic, turn, turn signal
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

14 hours ago

2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

1 day ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

6 days ago

Britain, going, history, humor, infrastructure, invasion, least, need, resurfacing, road, roman
All roads lead to disappointment.

7 days ago

disappointment, humor, irony, lead, pessimism, road
Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

2 weeks ago

beautiful, blood, blood cell, body, car, cell, feel, humor, road, road trip, sick, through, travel, trip, us
Getting road rage alone in my house.

3 weeks ago

alone, anger, anger management, driving, frustration, getting, house, humor, management, rage, road, road rage
Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

1 month ago

another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should
Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

1 month ago

complaint, fast, fast food, food, fry, humor, McDonald’s, needs, road, salt, SALTS, seasoning

For even more funny road quotes, hit next 👇

All funny road quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

38 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Breaking via Messenger:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Going viral on Instagram:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Making waves on TikTok:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Spotted on Messenger:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

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