Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Shared recently on Threads:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Trending via Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Making waves on Twitch:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"God: 'I'm all-knowing, but honestly, sometimes ignorance looks pretty tempting… 😅🤷‍♂️🙈'"

all-forgetting, all-knowing, forgetfulness, God, humor, ID, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

0

6 months ago

communication, friendship, humor, important, learn, learning, likes, media, popularity, post, self-awareness, social, social media, stuff, stupid, stupidity
In Russia, the cold complains about you.

0

2 months ago

cold, complain, humor, irony, Russia, sarcasm, weather
You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

0

2 months ago

attitude, funny attitude, guys, here, humor, humor quote, procrastination, sarcasm, stopped, week, work, work humor
Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

0

5 days ago

actually, big, economy, laundering, laundering scheme, money, nail, nail salon, salon, scheme, shop, town, vape, vape shop
Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

0

2 months ago

automatic, automatic door, delay, door, door delay, doors, dumb, embarrassment, enough, everyday, everyday life, fast, humor, impatience, life, me, open, social, social embarrassment
I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, braces, care, civilization, collapse, dental, dental care, humor, i, orthodontics, people, society, think, worst, worst part

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Going viral on Telegram:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Breaking via X:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Trending via Instagram:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨