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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Making waves on TikTok:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Making waves on Discord:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Shared recently on X:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Making waves on Slack:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Spotted on TikTok:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on Slack:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Just landed via Instagram:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about the amusing fatigue of princess life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggles of choosing between which tiara to wear and which royal event to attend next 👑💃 Who knew ruling a kingdom could be so tiring? Just imagine the stress of having to wave and smile all day! Maybe it's time for a royal nap, Your Highness! 💤👸 #royalprobs"

being, exhausting, expectations, fairy, fairy tale, humor, lifestyle, princess, royalty, tale

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

25 shares on X this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

98 shares on Slack this month:

I drive like I’m immortal.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

74 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Body by sandwich.

Live now on Twitch:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Trending via Slack:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Going viral on X:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

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