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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Trending via Discord:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Making waves on X:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Spotted on YouTube:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Just shared via Twitch:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

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In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical alternate universe where learning has a sassy side! 🌌📚 Imagine grappling with calculus while it whispers, 'You think I'm hard now, just wait till you meet my friend, Quantum Physics!' 😅 Embrace the chaos and enjoy the journey of learning the 'hard way' in this quirky dimension!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

29 shares on X this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Trending via Threads:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Just landed via X:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Trending via Telegram:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Going viral on Facebook:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Just shared via TikTok:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

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