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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Just landed via WeChat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Shared recently on X:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

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It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet symphony of a breezy day and a scattered mind – the perfect recipe for a mental tornado! 🌬️🌀 Just remember, a whistling head is a sign of creativity at play! Let those thoughts swirl and twirl like a whimsical gust of wind. Embrace the chaos with a smile! 😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

63 shares on X this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

81 shares on Instagram this month:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

67 shares on Discord this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Breaking via Slack:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Breaking via WeChat:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Spotted on TikTok:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Breaking via YouTube:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Just shared via Twitch:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Making waves on Telegram:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Making waves on Threads:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Going bananas on Slack:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

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