Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.
  • If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.
  • Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.
  • Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.
  • Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.
  • Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”