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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Making waves on YouTube:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Just landed via Twitch:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Witty quote about family and sleepless overthinking, humorous and relatable.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to explain to your family the mental gymnastics you've been doing all night like 🤯💤… And all they can say is 'Who asked you to overthink, though?' 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #TheOverthinkingStruggle"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Discord this month:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

40 shares on X this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Seen just now on X:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Live now on Instagram:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

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