Funny Night Quotes That Will Make You Love the Dark Even More! 🌙😂

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

1 week ago1 week ago

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

1 week ago1 week ago

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

1 week ago1 week ago

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

2 weeks ago

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

2 weeks ago

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

3 weeks ago