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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

53 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Live now on Discord:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Trending via Facebook:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Just shared via Instagram:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Home » Funny Night Quotes

174 Funny night quotes

Funny night quotes shine a light on the hilarious side of the nighttime hours! 🌙😆 From late-night snacking to sleepless adventures, these quotes capture the humor in our nocturnal habits. Embrace the laughter that comes with the darkness and enjoy the lighter side of night! 😂🌟

New funny night quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Commentary:
Sounds like a fire-breathing bedtime story is part of the nightly routine! 🐉🔥😴
6 days ago
Share →: Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Bristle Brigade! 🦷🪥✨
6 days ago
Share →: Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Commentary:
Ah, the magical land of sleep, where problems get bored and leave! 😴✨😂
7 days ago
Share →: Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Commentary:
Sounds like the spider's planning a web fashion show with my wardrobe! 🕷️👗😂
1 week ago
Share →: I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Commentary:
Sounds like prime pajama time! 😴🛌🕘
1 week ago
Share →: Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚
1 week ago
Share →: I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Commentary:
Sounds like I've been running marathons in my sleep! 🛌🏃‍♀️😴
1 week ago
Share →: I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Commentary:
"Ha! Mornings are for whispered lullabies, not surprise concerts! 🎶😴🚗"
1 week ago
Share →: Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Commentary:
"Living that wild Friday life: horizontal and in full starfish glory! 🌟🛌✨"
1 week ago
Share →: After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulthood where pulling an all-nighter means making it to morning without a bathroom break! 🚽🌙😴"

For even more funny night quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

53 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Spotted on Telegram:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Making waves on WeChat:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Going viral on Instagram:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

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