Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Just when you thought your knight in shining armor would ride in on a white horse, turns out he's actually a tall glass of wine! Who needs sword fights when you have a liquid hero ready to rescue you from reality one sip at a time?"

armor, drink, fantasy, fun, humor, knight, liquid, love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

2 months ago

bills, door, front, front door, humor, joke, just, protection, security, system, unpaid
A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

2 months ago

A.I., AI, art, before, creativity, forced, humor, job, service, should, tables, wait
Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

2 months ago

breath, carbon, carbon dioxide, dioxide, existential, feel, humor, i, irony, nature, plants, remember, self-worth, sometimes, useless
I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

2 months ago

communication, guys, health, humor, know, let, media, mental, mental health, psych, psych ward, social, social media, technology, ward, wifi
Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

2 months ago

body, body image, extra, extra weight, humor, i, image, leave, love, me, motivation, relationship, self-deprecation, telling, thinking, too, weight
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

4 weeks ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

77 shares on Discord this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Making waves on Slack:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Making waves on Threads:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Trending via Telegram:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨