Commentary:
Well, Courtney, it's time to keep you wrapped in bubble wrap for everyone's sake! 😂🎤💸
750 Funny love quotes
The problem is I really do love staying up until one billion o’clock. It just can’t be helped.
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Trying to set a new world record for the latest bedtime ⏰😴🌕
Yeah, breakups suck, but have you ever been in love with a restaurant that closed down?
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When your favorite eatery ghosted you and it's the only ex you really miss 😂🍽💔
I love rejecting cookies. Aww, you want to sell my data? Absolutely no chance, but I love your enthusiasm.
Commentary:
🍪❌ "Cookies, please! I'm already on a strict 'no data diet'—but kudos for your optimism!" 😂
People say love is the best feeling, but honestly, finding a bathroom when you’ve got diarrhea might top it.
Commentary:
When true love's knocking but your stomach is doing the cha-cha, the bathroom is your real soulmate! 🚽💞🤣
I really love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. Could be none.
Commentary:
With all due respect, this comment contains precisely the amount of respect you've earned: 🍪👉🕳️ #NoneRespec-tacular!
I love that our generation managed to kill the stereotype that if you have tattoos, you won’t be able to find a job. Now nobody can find a job, whether you have tattoos or not.
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Job searching is now a beautiful canvas of unemployment for all 😅🖼️🤷♂️
I love saying “sounds good” at work when I couldn’t care less.
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"Got my PhD in ‘sounds good’ and a minor in ‘nodding along’ 😂👍"
Love putting “the” in front of band names that don’t need it.
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This is how I confidently tell my friends about *The Coldplay* and *The Imagine Dragons* 🎸🎤😂
I love when someone says, “This is gonna sound weird,” because finally we’re getting somewhere.
Commentary:
Finally, we're on the express train to Weirdsville! 🚂😆✨