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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

13 minutes ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Reported on X:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Just shared via WeChat:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just shared via X:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just landed via Instagram:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Going viral on Threads:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

5 months ago

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of spiral-manity! 🌀🤷‍♂️ When chaos reigns and requests fly left, right, and center, it's every man for himself! Just hold on tight, folks, and hope for the best amidst this whirlwind of demands! 🤯🎢 #LifeInASpiral

anything, chaos, control, humor, spiral, spiraling, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

13 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Just shared via X:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Live now on Instagram:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Trending via Messenger:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Spotted on YouTube:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

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