Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Going viral on X:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Seen just now on Discord:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Just shared via Instagram:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Seen just now on Threads:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Live now on LinkedIn:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Making waves on Twitch:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Just landed via WeChat:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

2 months ago

0

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle of trying to read lips that seem to have a mind of their own on screen! 📽️😂 Who knew a few milliseconds could drive us to the brink of self-inflicted popcorn throwing? Stay strong, brave subtitle warrior!"

cinema, comedy, film, films, frustration, humor, hurt, myself, others, subtitles, sync, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, coping, coping mechanism, humor, mechanism, personal, personal problem, problem, procrastination, study, test
I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

0

2 months ago

chronology, discovery, found, humor, time, understanding, wit, wordplay
I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

0

2 months ago

character, dislike, entertainment, hate, hour, humor, i, life, likable, likable character, movie, need, people, show, shows, sick, spend, spending, spending time, time, TV, TV Show, where
Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

0

2 months ago

chore, clothes, dryer, ever, feel, folding, household, humor, laundry, procrastination, relatable, restart
Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

0

2 weeks ago

change, conversation, humor, i, name, phrase, pun, want, wordplay
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, humor, husband, relationship, shop, work, workshop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,319

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Live now on Twitch:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Spotted on X:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Just landed via Telegram:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Trending via Slack:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

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