Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the talent of being able to hit all the wrong nerves with surgical precision! It's like listening to a symphony of frustration played by a maestro of annoyance. Bravo, dear irritants, bravo!"

ability, body, human, human body, humor, irritate, nerf, people

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20 shares on Facebook this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

64 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Going bananas on Slack:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Breaking via Facebook:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Going viral on TikTok:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨