Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.