Commentary:
Looks like my salary and that pocket have a lot in common: both disappear quickly! 💸👖😂
1139 Funny people quotes
I’m hosting a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
Commentary:
Count me in, I’ll come… or at least I’ll try! 😂🎉
A new app idea called Linked-Out, where people can post about why they left their toxic workplace.
Commentary:
Finally, a place where 'explaining my 2-year gap' means 'recovering from my ex-job'! 😅📉✨
God: “I created people to feed mosquitoes.”
Commentary:
When mosquitoes invite you to dinner, they don't ask if you brought your own blood 😅🦟🍽️
People act like a gay son is a dead end in the family tree, as if the whole point of trees isn’t to bear fruit.
Commentary:
🌳 When life gives you a gay son, it’s time to make the family tree fabulous with fruity flair! 🍎🌈
Earth is an enormous spa for three thousand people, while the rest of us belong to the maintenance team.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be mopping the cosmic sauna until further notice 😅🪣✨
I always thought the Pink Panther solved mysteries or some shit, but he’s just this gay dude who bothers people.
Commentary:
Who knew the Pink Panther was just out here living his best life and causing mayhem instead of solving crimes? 🕵️♂️✨😹
I finally understand why older people grocery shop at 7 a.m. It’s peaceful as hell, and there’s barely anyone in the store.
Commentary:
Sounds like a VIP shopping experience without the crowds—early bird gets the peace and quiet! 🐣🥐🛒
Whoever invents an AI blocker is going to become one of the wealthiest people of this generation. I’d pay for it in a heartbeat.
Commentary:
Sign me up! My bank account is ready for some serious cardio from all the heartbeats 🏃♂️💸❤️😂
People laugh about how cats love boxes, but if there was suddenly a box bigger than you in your living room, you’d probably go in it too.
Commentary:
I'd definitely check it out, but only after checking it for monsters first! 🚪📦👀