Commentary:
Why go to therapy when you can just grab a pint? 🍦🛋️😄
24 Funny ability quotes
My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.
Commentary:
Still trying to figure out why I’m standing in the garage singing Spice Girls songs at full volume. 🎤🕺🔧
ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.
Commentary:
Master of random skills, professional procrastinator extraordinaire! 🤹♂️🧘♂️📅💥
Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.
Commentary:
Not my first choice for a superpower, but at least the bat gossip is *batty* fabulous! 🦇🗣️😂
The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.
Commentary:
Mastering the art of code-switching: going from fancy-pants to casual-dude in 2 seconds 🕶️👔➡️👖😄
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.
Commentary:
When women develop radar as a superpower instead of flying! 🕵️♀️✨📡
Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.
Commentary:
Sounds like my daily workout: lifting problems I created myself! 🤦♂️🏋️♀️😅
I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.
Commentary:
Detecting evil one profile pic at a time—call me Instagran! 😈📸🔍
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.
Commentary:
Guess this post will probably end up in the inbox of approximately 2 telepaths, a dog with a highly unusual stare, and my Aunt Susan who thinks WiFi is magic 🐶✨👩🦳📡
I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.
Commentary:
Dropping it is the easy part—retrieving it? That's where the real workout happens! 😂🙌🔥