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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Going viral on Instagram:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Going viral on Slack:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Just shared via Threads:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Just shared via Telegram:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Spotted on Instagram:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm a heathen then 😂👀✨

heathen, humor, invisible, joke, only, post

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

0

2 months ago

activity, amusement, emotion, fun, happiness, i, joy, never, person, sad, seen, slide, water, water slide
My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

0

2 months ago

humor, husband, i, irony, love, marriage, relationship, second, second look, sight
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday
Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

0

2 months ago

hit, humor, joke, modern, modern humor, tech, tech joke, technology, vape, vaping
I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, early, humor, i, irony, just, learning, outcome, professional, sarcasm, say, told, workplace
I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

0

5 months ago

dance, hand, hands, humor, i, jazz, jazz hand, just, let, performance, self-expression, speak, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

94 shares on X this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

27 shares on WeChat this month:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Trending via Facebook:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Trending via Facebook:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Just shared via Twitch:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Trending via TikTok:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

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Activity Log ✨

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨