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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Spotted on Slack:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Just landed via Reddit:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on Threads:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Going viral on Threads:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

0
What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?
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Commentary:
Whoever named it road rage obviously missed a golden opportunity to say "locomotive" – now that's some next-level wordplay! 🚗💥🚂 Let's pave the way for some locomotive fury on the highways! 🚗🚋😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Spotted on Messenger:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Going bananas on Slack:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Seen just now on X:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

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