Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just shared via Discord:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on Discord:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Making waves on Slack:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Just shared via X:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Making art is making love to the world.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Spotted on X:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

0
What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question of Tom Cruise and his need for speed! It's like trying to choose between a race car and a cheetah on caffeine. With his running skills, he could probably outrun a speeding bullet train. So, what's your pick? 'Mission: Impossible'? 'Minority Report'? Or maybe the classic 'Top Gun' where he runs with the wind beneath his wings? Whichever it is, just remember, in the world of Tom Cruise, the

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

32 shares on X this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Just shared via Slack:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Just landed via Slack:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Breaking via Twitch:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Making waves on Facebook:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴