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88 Funny favorite quotes

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  • Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

    Commentary:
    “Being the teacher’s pet never felt so good… or costs so much! 😂🛋️👩‍⚕️ #TherapyGoals”

  • Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

    Commentary:
    “When did I become a ‘sweater’ person? Next, I’ll be hosting tea parties for my stuffed animals! 🧥☕️🐻”

  • “At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

    Commentary:
    “😂 ‘At your big age’ is the shade equivalent of ‘bless your heart’ – lethal and polite! 💀🙌”

  • My favorite hobby is withering away.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the art of disappearing like a forgotten avocado at the back of the fridge! 🥑⏳😂”

  • My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like summer’s just an extended indoor adventure! 😎❄️🌞

  • Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

    Commentary:
    Looks like those cashews are on a salty, hunched-over mission—just like us after a long day! 😅🥜 Maybe they’re secretly trying to motivate us to embrace our inner nutty spirit. Keep calm and keep munching! 😄🤪

  • One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the sacred burner hierarchy — where every adult secretly has a favored flame and no one dares admit it! 🔥🍳 It’s the unsung hero of our kitchens, quietly stealing the spotlight during dinner prep. Guess what? Your favorite burner is probably just as unique as your weirdest quirks. Keep it on the down-low, but don’t be surprised if it’s the one tucked right next to your coffee mug! ☕😉

  • My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic quest for hidden depths in a sea of nothingness! 😅 Sometimes, the best pastime is turning life’s little emptinesses into grand mysteries. Who knew(just a little), that finding meaning in nothing could be your favorite hobby? 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Everything’s more interesting when you’re searching for gold in a sandbox—except, of course, when you realize there’s just more sand. 🏖️😉

  • I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like I’ve officially unlocked the ‘Sitting Down Enthusiast’ level in life 🪑😂 Who knew that retirement age would come knocking so soon? Just call me the reigning champion of the seated Olympics! 💺🥇”

  • My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic military acronym mystery – it’s like cracking a code during every conversation! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Maybe next time we can throw in a prize for the most creative acronym guess! 🏆😂

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