80 funny fast quotes - Wordgag

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

May 30, 2026

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

May 30, 2026

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

May 30, 2026

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

May 30, 2026

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

May 30, 2026

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

May 30, 2026

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

May 29, 2026

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

May 29, 2026

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

May 29, 2026

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

May 29, 2026

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

May 28, 2026

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

May 28, 2026

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

May 28, 2026

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

May 28, 2026

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

May 28, 2026

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

May 27, 2026

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

May 27, 2026

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

May 27, 2026

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

May 27, 2026

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

May 27, 2026

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

May 27, 2026

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

May 27, 2026

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

May 27, 2026

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

May 26, 2026

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

May 26, 2026

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

May 26, 2026

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

May 26, 2026

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

May 26, 2026

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

May 26, 2026

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

May 26, 2026

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

May 26, 2026

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

May 25, 2026

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

May 25, 2026

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

May 25, 2026

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

May 25, 2026

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

May 25, 2026

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

May 25, 2026

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

May 25, 2026

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

May 25, 2026

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

May 24, 2026