Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.
  • Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.
  • If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.
  • Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.
  • All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.
  • He’s a 10 but so is his volume.