Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.
  • “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.
  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.
  • Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?
  • The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.
  • Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.