Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.
  • I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.
  • I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.
  • Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.