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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Going bananas on Threads:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Witty quote about lamenting lost time with a humorous twist.
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Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you have time on your hands? 😅⏰ Let those tears flow, but make sure to schedule them accordingly! 😉 #ExtraHourExtraFeelings"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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19 shares on Twitch this month:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

14 shares on Twitch this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

31 shares on X this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

84 shares on X this month:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

75 shares on X this month:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Trending via Twitch:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Just shared via YouTube:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Live now on Facebook:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Making waves on Instagram:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

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