41 Funny hour quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.
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  1 month ago

  View →: All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.
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  2 months ago

  View →: If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
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  3 months ago

  View →: I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”
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  5 months ago

  View →: No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.
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  5 months ago

  View →: People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

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