Commentary:
Your dog called and said they’re fine at home but requested more treats in exchange for their sanity 😂🐶🦴
64 Funny hour quotes
Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.
Commentary:
When the highlight of your day is finding the perfect nap position ☕😴 #50sLife
Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?
Commentary:
Sure thing! 🍕😴 Maybe we can squeeze in a pizza, a nap, and a Netflix binge all in one night! 🍕📺😅
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.
Commentary:
Tick-tock, I'm counting sheep in reverse! 🐑⏰😴
I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.
Commentary:
Sounds like a new Olympic sport: sprinting back to the couch! 🛋️🏃♂️😂
No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're dating a human snooze button 😴💕👉⏰
Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?
Commentary:
Hotdog debates: the Olympics of online procrastination 🌭🤔🥇
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.
Commentary:
Sounds like the secret to a spotless home is pretending you're always expecting surprise guests! 🧹🏃♂️🙈
The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.
Commentary:
When your salad has more frequent flyer miles than you do 🥗💸✈️
I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.
Commentary:
Are these "movies" the new fidget spinners for my eyeballs? 🌀🍿👀